I’ve missed writing for the past few weeks. I’d think about it, but I just couldn’t do it. Usually, I write from what speaks to me during the week. It is one more way I have of reflecting on life. But ‘life’ has been turbulent the last month partly with an expected, but unexpected wedding that was quickly planned and executed (quite brilliantly by the couple), but also with four relational bumps that caused me to slow down and do some serious reflection. My days have been filled with much wedding delight, but my heart has been more tender as I find my way through the bumps. Maybe that’s okay.
I believe that I am here on earth to learn and grow spiritually. That’s the core of life, so I see all the circumstances of life as providing lessons for my soul growth. I know if I change, the world changes and that’s my major contribution to making this a kinder world. But the lessons – some are easier than others! This last month had some harder lessons for me, ones that took me to a deeper place in that hidden part of me I don’t really know; ones, that like some math courses I did in high school, required me to call in a tutor to help. I think I wrote a bit about it before I stopped. I was invited to look again at both my wounded child and my adaptive child. I thought I’d done all that work, but then something happens, and I realize there is still more healing needed for that little one, and that older child also needs to be released from duty.
Something is shifting. And I’m held in a waiting place. I’m not in charge of the shift. I bought my ticket for the rollercoaster ride. I’ve said ‘Yes’ again and again to learning life’s lessons. I’ve got my seat for the ride, but now I wait. When will the train take off? How will we twist and turn? When will we land? Where will we land? Who will I be then? I don’t know the answers. I’m waiting and trusting.
Sue Monk Kidd’s book ‘When the Heart Waits’ has been a supportive read this month. She recounts her story of a mid-life change. I could have read it when she wrote it in 1990 as I was in a change then. I could have read it when the next change came about 2000. Now here I am again twenty years later, waiting my way through another change. Waiting. Waiting. Listening. Trusting.
I’ll write when I can. Always happy to have a note from you Gentle Reader. I haven’t heard much from you either this month so perhaps you’re in the waiting room with me!
Love and prayers for the journey
Mystic in Motion
Companion on the Way with Contemplative Fire
Contemplative Fire Canada, Founder
Companion with The Rivendell Way
Society Member with Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation
15 thoughts on “Waiting”
Hi Anne. I always love reading your columns. Like you, I believe everything that happens to us is for our spiritual growth especially the hard stuff especially the tragic stuff.
We are as they say spiritual brings on a human journey not human beings on a spiritual journey.
I believe one of our primary purposes in life is to live as joyfully as possible. To find joy in everything.
I was fortunate many years ago to be seated near the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu when they spoke at Christ Church Cathedral in Vancouver.
I have never been near anyone who radiated joy as they did. It was like they were surrounded by light. Their joyful energy filled the room. I almost felt like I was in the presence of the holy.
I aspire to live as joyfully as they do. This past covid year has been one where I have felt joy more palpably than before. This time out of time has had a special quality to it. I hope I can keep this feeling as I know it can ebb and flow.
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what a treat to sit so close to those two – i think you were on holy ground! They wrote a book together ‘Book of Joy’ which is a delight, two elderly men loving each other, God and all of us plus they both share some of their favourite meditation practices. — i agree too that this global time out has had a special quality that i hope we can keep with us.
Have just read your Mystic in Motion leaving me with some sadness and concern– sounds like the wedding may have stirred up some stuff for you or? Whatever is happening know you are in my prayers and here if you ever wanted to talk.
Sometimes I wonder what does it really mean to grow spiritually?
Love & Blessings – Pauline have stirred
On Sun, Jun 27, 2021 at 6:24 AM Mystic in Motion wrote:
> acrosthwaitoutlookcom posted: ” I’ve missed writing for the past few > weeks. I’d think about it, but I just couldn’t do it. Usually, I write from > what speaks to me during the week. It is one more way I have of reflecting > on life. But ‘life’ has been turbulent the last month partly w” >
thanks for your care Pauline. i try to write honestly in my blog, and although the weeks have been choppy i am well, very well for i know Spirit is at work. I love your question about growing spiritually. i might write some more about that. what does it mean to you?
So poignant. A very good message for finding our way on this journey through life. I attended a conference offered by the Henri Nouwen Society a couple of weeks ago held to honour the 25th anniversary of his death. I recommend the booklets that were written by Chris Pritchett and Marjorie Thompson, Henri Nouwen and the Art of Living to commemorate him.
thanks Lynda – wow was it really twenty five years ago Henri died. i’ll take a look for those booklets
Anne: I have missed your messages. I hoped you were well. I wondered if you were on a retreat in a “yurt”.
My sister and I both had trouble with math. I needed trigonometry and algebra to get into my University course.
At St Johns we had the service at ten then .Zoom discussion on two of Jesus’ healings: The haemorrhaging woman and Jarius’ 12 year old daughter’s resurrection. Fresh starts.
My work now is to accepr that I am old with the disadvantages that are a part of age. I will do my best.
Wishing you well. Keep up the writing. Joan Patterson
While you don’t know me, my Mom, Lynda Mackay, introduced me to Mystic in Motion and I have been gratefully following you for the past several months. I have found many of your stories, thoughts and insights to be so meaningful. This week in particular really resonated with me – although that seems an inadequate description of how deeply your words touched me. You were able to express what has been so heavily on my heart and I appreciate seeing it all so clearly described with a lens of hopefully anticipation rather than weary acceptance (or lack of acceptance depending on the moment!)
Thank you for sharing your grace,
Thank you Heather – for reading, for following, for caring to share your alignment. i hope some day our paths will cross. . Spiritual growth and change are a deep part of my life and i’m encouraged when i meet others on the same path, whatever direction they may be going.
My heart ❤️ goes out to you in your pain.
The verse that came to mind was John13v7
“What I do thou knowest not now but thou shalt know hereafter”
We have to be content with the unexplained which is a journey and can be hard and painful at times.
I’ve missed your writings but you are allowed to dictate the pace of your own heart.
Thank you Barbara. i feel your kindness and understanding. so often i don’t see the big picture in the details, but i do trust the artist who creating this masterpiece that we’re all a part of. and yes, i will write as i can.
I just found your blog:)
As a Christian mystic, I believe you’d love the work of David Hawkins. He was an enlightened being who used the contemplative, meditative lifestyle to achieve his enlightenment and oneness with God. He was also a follower of Jesus. There are many fascinating and informative videos on Youtube that take segments out of his lectures. He teaches the absolute possibility of reaching that same place he has gone through the practice of love and forgiveness in ones life.
I wish you well on your path!
Hi Zed – good to meet you! yes, i’ve explored Hawkins a bit. He was a very evolved being. i’m currently enjoying the lesson that Paramahansa Yogananda left us. We are so fortunate to such teachers.
I don’t believe that the body and soul are separate in our life on earth: the body is how we care for the soul. (Anne Lamott in Hallelujah Anyway.)
I wonder how our bodies care for the soul?
Getting a good sleep is one way….being out in nature is another … I know you are taking good care of your soul …by not writing or writing … as you feel or want …
Hi Jan — interesting question.. I think the body provides an earthly home for the soul so it can have a human experience and learn what the soul needs to learn to be in full union with God. i see myself as a tenant in my body. i’m responsible to look after it as well as i can. i guess in doing that, in living with lovingkindness towards my body, i’m also tending my soul gently and well. but i feel so much bigger than my body!! all that cosmic flying…..