This week when I hit A WALL, I felt sad. One more time I was in familiar territory. I’d offered a suggestion and I heard it come back to me with a ‘well maybe, if you really want’. I hung out in sad for awhile, mulling it over, aware of the trigger that had been hit. This morning when I felt The Wall appear again, I decided that I would look through windows and doors instead of looking at The Wall. I began to recall all the people who smile when they see me, the offerings I’ve made that have been received, the invitations I’ve had, the connections I’ve made. It was wonderful.
I’ve been thinking a lot about self-control in the last while. I used to shudder when it was listed as a fruit of the Spirt. Alongside love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and gentleness, self-control seemed like Big Brother, a chaperone who stops the fun, a rule-maker. Years ago, I did some Greek word work and found a different take on it, but not till this past month have I enjoyed the word. Self-control now says to me that I can make choices. I have power within my world, power to choose how I will respond, how I will see the world, and see myself. I have both ‘will power’ and ‘won’t power’. What a gift from the Spirit! I can align my will with Spirit and bear wonderful fruit. I am strong.
Today I was able to not look at a wall but to see the windows and look through them. It doesn’t mean the wall goes away, but it shrinks into proportion, into its proper place. It moves from WALL to a wall. Yes, there are times when suggestions aren’t received, and yes there are many times when they are received, when I’m received.
It’s part of my journey into effortless leadership. I’ll continue to look for windows and doors. I have the ability to choose how I will look and how I will respond.
What’s true for me is true for you…..you too are strong and powerful. Self-control is one of your gifts too.
Love and prayers
Mystic in Motion
Companion on the Way with Contemplative Fire
Contemplative Fire Canada, Founder
Society Member with Shalem Institute for Contemplative Living
Companion with The Rivendell Way