Now this sound really simple, but oh…I saw it in a new way this week.
Sometimes, someone says something, or doesn’t say something, or looks at you or doesn’t look at you and you feel hurt. Know what I mean? The head noise starts: they don’t like me, he doesn’t love me, I’m not important to her, he didn’t hear what I said, I’ll never be good enough, there’s no room for me here, I don’t belong…..Ouch that hurts! I’m quite sure that anyone reading this knows what it’s like to feel hurt emotionally, feel that pinch, that tender spot.
What I realized this week was when I feel hurt, someone, usually unintentionally, has sent a dart that hit one of my old tender spots, some old untended wound. That’s all that’s happened. Some old hurt has been exposed to me.
It’s not about the other person. It is an invitation to me, if I want to take it, to bring put some healing ointment on the old wound and heal it. That’s all. A hurt is an invitation. I don’t have to RSVP the invite. I can sit in the hurt, savour it, allow its pain to consume me. The hurting little one is still loved by God.
I can also pick up the invitation and tentatively open it, apply a bit of healing balm and cover it up again by comforting actions like eating, running, working, shopping, scrolling, TV binging, or reacting with some well-chosen words… haven’t we all had these responses!
It’s also possible to acknowledge the hurt. Ouch, that hurts! And explore what part of me hurts, and why I hurt. I can talk to Jesus, Divine Mother, Loving Spirit, Creator. I can talk about the hurt, seeking wisdom and healing. If I continue to hurt, it’s one more invitation to explore the inner pain.
Deep within us is a rubbish pile and a treasure box. The rubbish pile is full of discarded sharp pieces that cause hurt. The treasure box is full of our Creator-given goodness. I know some people say to embrace your shadow side. I’m more inclined to acknowledge it’s existence, but to focus on the goodness, the treasure, the presence of God within me. I want the world to receive less of Hurting Anne, more of Trusting Anne, less Reactive Anne, more Compassionate Anne. I don’t want people to experience the sharpness of my rubbish heap, but I want to help others find their way past the sharp pieces that hurt to the treasure box full to overflowing with goodness.
We all have times when ‘Ouch! That hurts!’ happens. It was a delightful moment of clarity this week when I saw the source of my pain. I hope you, Gentle Reader can see the source of your pain the next time it happens to you. God’s healing presence is with us. Everyday. All day. Everywhere.
Love and prayers
Mystic in Motion
Companion on the Way with Contemplative Fire
Contemplative Fire Canada, Founder
Society Member with Shalem Institute for Contemplative Living
Companion on The Rivendell Way