‘Ah, solitude! That’s so sweet, isn’t it?’, whispered the priest as he passed by in the kitchen of the retreat centre. I had snuck in the back door to collect a few items from the fridge to take back to the Hermitage. He knew what I was doing. He knew that I wasn’t at the retreat centre with the group but was on my own in a cabin about a fifteen-minute walk across the farm fields that surrounded the centre. He knew I was not just in silence, but in solitude. And yes, I agree with him, it was and is sweet to me.

For almost thirty years I’ve taken time regularly in solitude. Four years ago, it was clear to me that two practices that feed my spirit are regular, significant times in both nature and solitude. I now live nestled on a mountainside and feel well fed by nature. I still seek solitude.

Solitude isn’t just being alone. It’s not living alone nor is it spending time in my cabin where I read, write, meditate and hangout. The Spiritual Practice of Solitude is like peeling an onion….or like undressing. When I enter solitude, I’m intentionally leaving aside things that comfort, entertain, teach, or distract me. Seems simple, but it’s not.

In solitude, I don’t talk to anyone. I don’t even want to be with people. Even the priest whispering to me as he passed, was speaking into my solitude. Each person carries an energy field so to be with someone is to open myself, not only to their words if we speak, but to their energy flow. When I enter solitude, I really desire to not encounter anyone else, not to experience their energy, or their words.

Books have energy and words too. I’m careful what books I bring into solitude and often have found I don’t even look at them. Once I settle, I become much more selective about what I will read. Sacred texts are often where I settle. Sometimes some spiritual books have been helpful, but I let the Spirit I encounter within solitude guide me.

Phone is turned off. Netflix – gone! Food becomes simple. Exercise is usually apart of my routine – walking, swimming, chipping golf balls have all been practices for me over the years. Some simple art often comes with me.

Once I enter solitude the layers start to peel away. It takes awhile for the voices to disappear. Sometimes I feel like a whole crowd of people have joined me on retreat. Eventually they leave and I’m on my own. Sometimes the inner whispers have pulled me into despair. I have had many hours of struggle as I sought my way through them. I have known many moments of unbridled sweetness too. Being with both the fears and the sweetness has strengthened my spirit. I’m more in touch with my core being, sometimes called our True Self, that child of God place, deep within. I arrive at a deeper vulnerability, nakedness. I am who I AM. The Living God is alive for me.

Today I’m beginning a week of solitude. If you think of me, pray for me. I’m not sure if I’ll post a blog next week. Sometimes I write on retreat, sometimes I don’t. If you’re interested, posted in Mystic in Motion in 2017 are reflections from my prolonged time on sabbath leave when I spent three separate weeks in solitude.  

What are the spiritual practices that nourish your spirit?

What is it like for you to enter solitude?

See you again, sometime when I re-appear, ready to speak again.

Love and prayers

Anne

Mystic in Motion

Companion on the Way with Contemplative Fire

Contemplative Fire Canada (Founder)

Companion on The Rivendell Way

Society Member of Shalem Institute for Contemplative Living

I spent some time this week clearing part of a trail near our home. I think I’ve mentioned it to you before. It’s a new trail that follows a creek up the mountainside. We’ve placed a few benches along the trail to give people a place to rest, to be in the forest, to encourage their gaze into the depths of trees and to hear the gurgle of the nearby creek. We’ve decided to clear parts of the trail of old debris, tidy up the forest a bit. I know it’s not a garden, nor do I want it to be, yet bringing some order to tiny parts of it feels alright to me. We cut away dead ferns, tossed dry branches and cleared the way to see and hear the creek. I loved the time wading through the creek to clear the debris. It feels so good play in the forest. I come home exhilarated. It seems I’m getting drunk on the goodness of the forest energy.

The affirmation I’ve been sitting with this week has also felt good. I’m a child of God. I walk with the Prince of Peace on a pathway of peace as we create a community of peace. We use divinely guided wisdom and will power to clear the path of peace. We walk together strongly and lovingly as we create a community of peace.

Last week’s blog on ‘The Power of Choice’, this week’s trail work and the peace affirmation, all fit together. What does it mean to work with Jesus to clear a pathway of peace? What’s the debris that needs to be tossed? What’s no longer to be tolerated? What needs to be cut away? What needs to be brought into focus? What needs to be newly planted?

First, a decision to walk with the Prince of Peace. He will be my companion, daily, moment by moment I turn to him. I am walking with him, and together, we are walking a Pathway of Peace. So, second will be to use that as my plum line and anchor in my life. I will keep peace within myself. It is my ground, my anchor. When interior waters get murky, it’s time to retreat to make sure I’m realigned with the Prince of Peace. If I’m not aligned with him, our teamwork of creating a Community of Peace will be murky too.

(There’s a pause here as the day continues.)

I’ve just returned to my desk from a conversation with a villager about reconciliation with First Nations. How can we live here calling everything by colonial names? I live in Lions Bay, named for ‘The Lions’, two mountains above the village, yet long before the British arrived and named them ‘The Lions’ they were known as ‘The Sisters’ and carry a story of peace and brotherhood.

Haven’t we roared like lions long enough? Don’t we need to learn more about living peacefully with ourselves, our families, our communities, our global companions, our Earth? But how do you change a community and government to re-name something? How do you change deep cultural ways of independence and dominance? Despite the peace of my week there are a lot of questions brewing within me. Maybe because of the peace there is room for deep questions.

Are you drawn to the Pathway of Peace? What would you need to join or increase your commitment to walk the Pathway of Peace?

Love and prayers

Anne

Mystic in Motion

Companion on the Way with Contemplative Fire

Contemplative Fire Canada, Founder

Companion on The Rivendell Way

Society Member with Shalem Institute for Contemplative Living

‘Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely … think about these things.’ ‘Take all thoughts captive to Christ.’ ‘Keep in step with the Spirit.’ All of those are verses from scripture that I’ve learnt over the years. Lately they’re becoming more real to me. That first one is from Paul’s letter to the Philippians. It was the verse my high school chose as it’s foundation, so as a teenager I memorized it. Now, a long way from my teens, I’m grateful for the foundation it laid in my life.

For years I didn’t follow that spiritual wisdom. I listened to voices within myself that told me I was wrong, bad, dark, selfish, insufficient and not good enough. What a crowd would yell at me!  And I know too that I spoke words that were aggressive, hurtful, demeaning, critical, and negative. I know there were moments of kindness and wisdom, but that spiritual energy, of consciously drawing on goodness, wasn’t directing my life.

I just finished reading Thomas King’s new novel, ‘Indians on Vacation’ where his hero Blackbird has a host of people who live inside him making suggestions to him on how to live. They represent the voices of self-loathing, fear, depression, despair and pride. His wife has given each voice a name, so we get to watch Eugene, Kitty and the others nag Blackbird during the day. At first, I didn’t like making those voices so familiar by naming them, but gradually I began to find some wisdom in the naming. Then I started to listen again to the voices within me. I relaxed a bit and thought that I too could name some persistent voices and in doing that, actually disarm them. I could put them in their place. I’ll decide whether to sit and have coffee with them or not. I’ll decide whether to listen to them or not. Yes, I’ll decide. I love the power of choice.

I don’t want to listen to Nelly the Nag who loves to repeat things, or Freddie the Fixer who is full of ideas for other people’s lives or Judge Judy or Speedy Gonzales who loves to interrupt! No, I don’t want to hang out with them or listen to them. I want to be aware of my thoughts, mindful of them, draw them close to Christ who is within me and follow the pathway in which Spirit leads me, a pathway of kindness, compassion, gentleness and hope. I love having the power of being able chose how to live. I will turn my attention to what is helpful, true, honest, pure, kind, and generous. I will think about these things. Yeah high school who tried to show me a pathway!

What do you think about? Who whispers suggestions in your ear? What do you think about naming the voices within?

Love and prayers

Anne

Mystic in Motion

Companion on the Way with Contemplative Fire

Contemplative Fire Canada, Founder

Companion on The Rivendell Way

Society Member of Shalem Institute for Contemplative Living

A couple of questions raised from my last post led me to reflecting on an old mantra: Live – Listen -Love.

Live – Being still with an interior stillness, not just sitting still physically, but finding an interior stillness. I can find this more easily through strong breath meditations, less watching my breath, more actively engaging my breath in specific rhythms and then ceasing. When I do this, often I find myself in an interior stillness, a silence, the mud is settling. That kind of stillness begins to seep off the mat into my daily life, so I find myself becoming more attentive to where I am, who I am with and what is happening. I think more of me is arriving in the moment, to be alive, awake, to live.

Listen – from that interior stillness I stand a hope of deep listening, listening not just to my physical or emotional needs, but listening to more tender, subtler and sometimes more cosmic needs. I’m quite sure that it was that quality of listening that drew us to move to the west coast. I’m trusting that it is that quality of listening that sings within me about Voices of Harmony.

Loving – the action that comes from listening. How do I move more lovingly into the world? How will I show kindness? Where do I need to forgive? What is Wisdom saying?

Live – Listen – Love

One reader wondered about overcoming the need for personal identity. What would make people give up that need to step into a collective consciousness? I agree that need is strong. It is a major driver in the current organizing functions in the world. The shift to a collective consciousness is significant.

My current awareness is that the shift is God’s work not mine. For years I functioned from a place of change, radical change. I lived with a, mostly unconscious, but sometimes conscious, force to initiate change. I’m less driven by that need now. I believe that change comes as I am myself, at ease, trusting in Spirit to do the work. I may be the hands, feet, mouth of Jesus, but it is Spirit who accomplishes the change. With that perspective I don’t feel concerned about organizing the shift needed in humankind to move from personal identity to collective consciousness. I want it to happen. My role is to keep changing myself, As I change, the world will change too – you know the butterfly effect. We’re all important, very important. One pebble tossed into a pond changes the pond. One person growing into collective consciousness changes the whole mix. I’m important. You’re important. We’re important. Change begins one person at a time. I recognize too that these changes that I long for might not happen in my lifetime, but that doesn’t deter me from being part of the change.

So next steps….and you’re in this too ….

Slow down, and live well, authentically who you are, where you are, as you are. I hope…that includes a desire to grow into your true self.

From a place of interior stillness listen deeply to the voice of LOVE.

Find your way of loving, beginning with those closest to you. They’re probably the hardest – that family member, that neighbour, co-worker….

Change happens one person at a time, one choice at a time.

What is your part in the change?

Love and prayer

Anne

Mystic in Motion

Companion on the Way with Contemplative Fire

Contemplative Fire Canada, Founder

Companion on The Rivendell Way

Society Member of Shalem Institute for Contemplative Living

Last week, as I sat with the longing for a strong spiritual voice speaking into a disillusioned and discouraged world, I felt a rubrics cube twisting into shape, each square finding it’s place, it’s home.

I want to be clear that I’m not longing for a new world religion. I’m not looking for something that blends all the current faith traditions into one. That to me would feel murky or muddy. Rather, I’m imaging each faith tradition being pure within its core teachings, and each one finding its place withing the rubric cube of life.

Back in the late 1950’s Huston Smith did some ground-breaking work on his study of world religions. He later revised it and then in the 1990’s published a shorter, illustrated version “The Illustrated World’s Religions: A Guide to Our Wisdom Traditions”. He hasn’t written a history of world religions, or a comparative study, but has asked all the traditions the same questions and then listened to their answers. Where are we? Why are we here? What does it all mean? What if anything, are we supposed to do?

I’ve carried those questions in my heart all my life, yet it has taken me a lifetime to find others who are asking them, let alone attempting to answer them! All our major faith traditions tackle these questions, and each brings a different perspective. I think what we need are all the perspectives. We need people who will find their spiritual pathway, walk it intently and lovingly, then come together with listening, compassionate hearts to lead us forward into a full life as human beings. For many of us, being human is difficult and challenging. We need each other. We need all the perspectives that we have accumulated over the thousands of years we’ve tried to live here and answer those questions. We need to learn from each other. We need to work together. We need to sing together.

Maybe, this COVID experience of isolation is heightening the longing in me. Maybe…. Maybe that’s one good that will emerge from the pandemic. Anybody else with me?  

Love and prayers

Anne

Mystic in Motion

Companion on the Way with Contemplative Fire

Society Member of Shalem Institute for Contemplative Living

Companion on The Rivendell Way

What better day than Easter Sunday to return to the theme of ‘Voices of Harmony’!

Jesus lived, taught and loved for all of humanity. He came showing all of us who God is, how God loves and forgives. Everyone. Not just a small circle of Jews 2000 years ago, but every person throughout the ages and around the globe. There were, nor are, any outsiders to him. His life was inclusive of every outcast he met. During his last meal with his closest friends, he repeatedly told them to care for each other. He said that by the love they had for each other, the whole world would know about God. His parting words, ‘Father forgive them. They don’t know what they are doing.’, is indicative of the size of his heart.

And yet we still stumble along, dividing ourselves into denominations and not recognizing God’s truth as expressed in different faith traditions. The mystical branches merge, yet few find their way into those depths so much of the world remains divided. How much longer will we live that way? I echo the cry of a fellow Companion on the Way of Contemplative Fire, Jeremy, who seeks a ‘Soul-Awakened Humanity’. It’s time we wake up. It’s Easter! New Life…..for everyone!

This week I was drawn to the story of the empty tomb where Mary leads Peter and John back to the garden to show them what she has discovered. The doorway into the tomb where they have placed Jesus is open. What is inside? Peter hangs back. Would you run into an empty tomb? I think it’s a rather spooky place. Do I really want to go where there is a dead body?

As I pondered the story this week, I began to see the tomb as my own inner world. I remember when my mother suggested to me that I talk to someone about my inner life. I pulled ‘a Peter’. I was terrified by the thought of entering my inner tomb or letting someone else look inside me. What might be found!

Now we all know that inside that tomb there was light, angels and the good news of Jesus alive. It’s the same truth for each of us. We may fear what is deep inside us. There may be darkness at first. It may take awhile for our eyes to adjust, but deep inside there is light and the life of Christ. Each of us, no matter our race, our gender, our creed, our culture, our age is made in the image of God. Each of us is a child of God and inside us is the Light of God.  

I long that this year more of us will enter the tomb and experience Easter. We will discover the Light within us and begin to live more simply as God’s Light-bearers. The world needs us to step up, to step into our full lives.

So…..as you approach the tomb….what is your response? Do you hesitate outside…… peek inside….. walk or run inside? As you take a look within yourself…..what do you see? Who or what might help your eyes adjust to seeing the Light within? Maybe Contemplative Fire, an inclusive Christian community is a nurturing home for you too. Take a peek. www.contemplativefire.org

Love and prayers for the Easter Journey within

Anne

Mystic in Motion

Companion on the Way with Contemplative Fire

Contemplative Fire Canada, Founder  www.contemplativefire.ca

Society Member with Shalem Institute for Contemplative Living

Companion on The Rivendell Way

For a couple of hours this week I clipped ferns and bramble bushes, pulled and broke old sticks. I was on my own, tiding up one tiny area of the forest on our new trail. There was one amazing moment when I realized I was uncovering the base of an old growth Douglas Fir. It’s big. My arm span reaches about half-way around her trunk. She soars high into the sky. Her bottom (I imagine there is a technical term for the base of a tree but I don’t’ know it), the part that spreads out as her roots sink into the ground, was covered in forest debris. I cleared it away revealing a delightful little trailing plant and some moss as a ground cover beneath her height and width. Ah…. It felt like a wonderful addition to our trail. I can’t move boulders like some, but I can tidy the forest in a few small areas.

We’ve been in COVID awareness land for a year now. In BC we began constraints and lockdowns March 2020. Of course, most of us thought it was just for a little while, but we’ve lived with the constraints, limited social circles, hand sanitizers and masks for a year. I’ve begun to wonder what I’ve learnt through this first year of the COVID invasion.

I feel like that wonderful fir tree! This year a lot has been removed from my life and I’m left more aware of grounds me. Family is important, that small circle of folk I’m given to be with in this life. Who are they? What makes them happy? What makes them sad? What do they value? Do I really know them? Friendships are important, that chosen circle of people, some who move through life with me, some who appear and disappear, especially those who are on a spiritual journey of their own. How do they see the world? What do they value? How have they lived during COVID Year 1? And then spiritual growth. Nothing is more important to me than growing spiritually, becoming more aware of God’s moment-by-moment presence within and around me. This year removing some of the activities of my days has allowed me to focus more intently on my prayer life. and that feels good. I hope I’m standing tall like my fir tree. I hope my branches provide shelter to those around me and my roots nourish other like-souled trees.

What has COVID Year 1 been like for you? What have you begun to value more deeply? How have the constraints of the year spoken to you? What has been revealed to you? What is the base, the ground cover of your life?

Love and prayers

Anne

Mystic in Motion

Companion on the Way with Contemplative Fire

Contemplative Fire, Canada, Founder

Society Member with Shalem Institute for Contemplative Living

Companion on The Rivendell Way

Campfires! So evocative of life and energy. Embraced by a dark night. Sparks flying. Stars overhead. A tiny bit of life in the midst of the cosmos. Drawn to warmth.  Flames dance. A long stick to re-arrange the logs or poke at embers. Yes!

In the last few weeks, I’ve experienced a long stick poking at some embers inside me. I’ve held a dream for many years. Sometimes it would sparkle and send off sparks, other times it would settle to a warm glow or even seem to disappear as the rest of life took fire. As I was poked once or twice, it’s starting to glow again, getting warmer.

Phyllis Tickle wrote about The Giant Rummage Sale that the church goes through every five hundred years or so; a sort through, clean out, clear up and general shake out before beginning again. She was sure we were living through another rummage sale time. That makes sense to me.

The dream I’ve held is that the new shape of the church will be global, universal, cosmic. No more national churches. No more denominational divisions. Oh yes, those can be there on some level, but let there be a bigger faith community. From my vantage point the world needs us faith-filled people to come together, one voice, singing in harmony. I sing the Jesus song, but I sing it with all faithful people of all traditions.

We need to sing in harmony. The world needs the presence of the Spirit to be magnified. As long as we keep ourselves in our nationalist, denominational, creedal and religious boxes we weaken the gift of Spirit that we bring to the world. I want to sing in harmony. I want the strength of the Spirit to shine in the world. Her Light is diluted when we say, ‘only our way’ and strengthened when we say together, ‘we are all spiritual beings, made in the image of LOVE now, with me, follow your path, deeply and intently into the heart of LOVE’.

I know there are people offering perennial philosophy and inter-faith groups at work. Yes, first steps and I want more. I want more. I want a place where we encounter LOVE and are changed. I don’t think that happens in an institution or even a building.

Where does it happen? I don’t know yet. It does happen around campfires, places of human connection within the cosmos. Maybe that’s why I’m drawn back to campfires. I’ve just been poked a few times. I don’t know where this is going. I bet it’s going to appear here again. I’d like to hear from you. Tell me what you dream, how you’re poked, how my embers appear to you.  Do my sparks land on you? We’re in this together. I’d like to hear from you.

Love and prayers from around a campfire

Anne

Mystic in Motion

Companion on the Way with Contemplative Fire

Society Member of Shalem Institute for Contemplative Living

Companion on The Rivendell Way

Today on my forest walk I saw my first robin and first slug! Two signs of spring. I enjoy living in a climate where daffodils start to poke up in January and then take their sweet time to blossom. And now, with signs of spring, another winter is laid to rest. Days lengthen. Air warms. Garden calls louder and louder. Yes!

For years spring has been my favourite season. In Toronto each spring day brings a surprise. It’s riotous. Buds pop. Flowers bloom. It all just happens within a few weeks. Here in the bottom corner of British Columbia spring is an ongoing concert. Those daffodils in January…they’re the reminder that winter isn’t all we’ve got, more is coming. Now in March lots of spring flowers are dazzling us, but the bit I like best is when the trees blossom and the rhododendrons shout ‘I’m here too!’. They last for weeks! It’s not one quick show that you might miss if you go away for weekend (remember those days 😊), but they linger for a long time. Spring here is a lazy, long concert of beauty. Slowly the deciduous trees begin to join their evergreen friends and our forests fill out. It’s all so wonderful.

Hmm you might be asking if I’m getting lost in the wonders of spring. What does that have to do with making sense of spiritual life and growing as a contemplative because that’s what I usually write about, right? Well, I’ve been noticing some springtime spiritual awareness. I think I’m experiencing a spring time in my soul. Spiritual truths that I’ve known for years have begun to take on a new meaning. It’s as if I’d never actually heard them before. They are sprouting inside me like little crocuses. Really? Did Jesus really say that?

One blossoming truth is that the whole purpose of our human life is to find God and know that we are deeply loved. That’s it. Our purpose is not to clean up the mess of the world. Yes, there are systemic evils in the world that we can work to remove but doing that is not the purpose of human life. Yes, some of the activities around me aren’t run the way Anne would run them, but that’s not my purpose.  Our purpose is to know God, know Love with and within God. Yes, we have families to care for and jobs to earn a living but that’s not the purpose of life. The reason we are here on earth is to know God and know a Divine, unconditional, all embracive Love. That’s what Jesus said – ‘Seek the kingdom of God first and everything else will come along too’. Our purpose is God. Or this one, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength’. That’s what Jesus said. Our purpose is our search for God. That’s where our focus is to be.

I’m finding these age-old truths, long known but hibernating within me, are suddenly in a Toronto spring-like way, becoming alive, making new sense to me, a springtime in my soul. I trust their vitality will linger in a long enjoyable BC spring-like way. The new truths lead to simplicity. When I know what life is about, all sorts of other things melt away. Relax, enjoy life, keeping my eye on the main event and knowing that the One who watches overall, has her eye on me too. Just today She told me so. I know I heard their voice.

Most of us get caught up in the busy activities of life and we forget our purpose. Jesus knew that too. Remember the lost sheep, lost coin, lost son stories? Most of us are prodigals that wander away. Regularly. We forget who we are and whose we are. God is always calling us home. As sure as spring follows winter, God is calling us home into LOVE, into divine, unconditional love.

I know I have often gotten caught in the busy stream of life. I want to keep my eyes on my true-life purpose. I don’t want to miss it. I want everything God has for me in this life. It’s one of the reasons I write to you. Connecting with you helps me keep my focus. Thank you for reading. I hope my words can help you connect more deeply.

It’s quite simple, but deeply profound. My purpose, your purpose is to know we are loved by God, loved in a way that intimately touches us, giving us new eyes so we see that we are all brothers and sisters, and we seek to live in harmony with others and nature.

That’s one of the little blossoms that’s showing up for me this week. Wow. I thought I already knew this, but I’m knowing it in a whole new way. What’s showing up in your corner of the world? Any hidden treasures?

Love and prayers

Anne

Mystic in Motion

Companion on the Way with Contemplative Fire

Contemplative Fire Canada, Founder

Society member with Shalem Institute for Contemplative Living

Companion on The Rivendell Way

Today I was walking quickly toward the cry of the sea lions. ARRRKKKK! Their cries were filling the air as I hurried down the road to enjoy them. But along the road I kept forgetting their cry and seeing the rubble all around me. The first stretch of road is nicely cared for, but around the corner is a repair shop, with boats, car parts and sea planes waiting to be repaired. To me – ugly. I crossed the path, ran over a bit of grass to find a deserted trailer and dog-house. To me – ugly. Further down the road was a heap of broken chairs, heaters, motors, propellers, you name it, heaped up and just left. To me – ugly.

The sea lions were calling me and all I was seeing was somebody’s leftovers, broken bits of life left to rust and collect muck.

I’ve been meditating in some form for about thirty years. I’ve heard God’s call and had wonderful experiences of the reality of God’s presence. Often those experiences haven’t occurred during prayer or meditation but randomly when I least expect it, yet I meditate every day hoping I will disappear into some blissful depths. I don’t usually. Yet I still show up to pray.

Rather, like hearing the cry of the sea lions, walking out to enjoy them, and seeing instead, the broken bits from other’s lives, I enter into meditation knowing the call of God upon my life, and get distracted by the broken, obtrusive bits of my own life. Why do I give them any energy???!! May my heart be set upon the call of sea lions, the call of God upon me.

I understand distractions, their shape, form and reality. I’ve taught about them and I still experience them. When will they stop? I know some people, during meditation do make it past the reptiles and enter an interior castle of stillness. I know stillness within. I know peace and joy. Yet I still know the junkyard of distractions too.

Guess I’m just a human soul, a work-in-progress. I know where I’m going, but oh….the journey is long. Hmmm, but the one who walks with me, walks through the junkyard with me is so sweet. Unfinished as I am, I’m secure and held. From that place I can see beauty, for what is one person’s junkyard is another person’s creative opportunity. God is not a junk maker, but a restorer of human souls. Yeah God.

Do you ever get caught by a junkyard?

Love and prayers

Anne

Mystic in Motion

Companion on the Way with Contemplative Fire

Society Member with Shalem Institute for Contemplative Living

Companion on The Rivendell Way