My mother was a warm-hearted extrovert. From a child’s perspective, her sweet spot seemed to be on the golf course, curling rink, or drink in hand with her friends. When she died, her friends told me how much fun she had been. She knew how to throw her head back with laughter, taught me to shuffle cards like a poker pro and make fabulous homemade candy as her mom had taught her. One evening she gave me her gift of public speaking. I have no idea how she did it, but from that evening conversation I moved from giving boring classroom speeches to someone who is quite persuasive when upfront. It’s helped a lot in my adult life. My mother died over twenty years ago yet life circumstances have caused her to be on my mind a lot.
This week I remembered how she used to help me with my knitting. I don’t have memories of her in a rocking chair knitting away, yet she taught me how to knit. As a young girl I did lots of projects. Do you recall those heavy Irish knit cable sweaters or the Icelandic ones with a yoke of colour? I did all those. Later I knit sweaters for my girls with dogs and panda bears on them. What I’ve been remembering this week is how, when I made a mess, my social, busy mom would take my knitting and slowly unravel it, pick up stiches, mend it and give it back to me. It was a labour of love. She never complained. She undid my knots. Isn’t it odd how love shows up in unexpected ways?
The poem I shared with you last time I wrote, ‘Please Come Home’ continues to move inside me. The Spirit has become the Divine Mother calling me home, calling me to bring my knots, dropped stiches, unfinished bits of life and come on home. I will sit with you, tend you and love you as you are. I need you home with me. Please come home.
In the past few weeks, I’ve experienced several internal knots, those broken, unfinished bits of me, places where my ego is pushing around, bits of anger, seeking significance, being small minded. It’s a gift to see those ego bruises and an even bigger gift to take them to Jesus and ask him and Divine Mother to undo the knots. It’s a gift to see my hurtful behaviour for their effect is there even if I don’t see it. People around me experience me pushing into them even if I don’t. If I feel myself acting like that then I have an opportunity to ask Jesus to undo the knots.
Reflecting on my mother’s love, shown in helping me knit, grows within me confidence that my Divine Mother and my Dear Friend Jesus, will undo my ego knots.
I want those knots undone. I want to be more like Jesus.
Who do you want to emulate?
Love and prayers
Mystic in Motion
Companion on the Way with Contemplative Fire
Contemplative Fire Canada, Founder
Companion on The Rivendell Way
Society Member with Shalem Institute for Spiritual Formation