When I was a child, we barely acknowledged birthdays. I recall a party when I was four and another when I was ten, but the other years….. I know my mother bought a cake at Loblaws. I can still see the roses and taste that icing! But I don’t recall much of a fuss let alone a ‘celebration’ of me, or of anyone else on their birthday.
Fast forward twenty years till I had my own four daughters. At some moment it settled in on me that we were supposed to celebrate birthdays! It wasn’t a lightning bolt that told me how to be an attentive mom, but rather the invitations to other family’s parties. Oh… that’s what happens around birthdays! Gradually I learnt, and I have memories of some fun parties: the puppy party when we celebrated a puppy turning one and a daughter who loved him turning seven so all the guests brought a dog and we played dog games; a scavenger hunt party at Black Creek Pioneer Village that got invaded by a re-enactment of the Rebellion of 1837; the sleepover parties with movies and late-night games and discussion; chocolate log cakes and fireworks on cottage beach; costume parties and decorating Smurf cakes. I hope my girls have memories too.
This week I celebrated my birthday in our new home. The family had asked me what I wanted for I was turning 70 and that seemed to be a special year to celebrate, but I couldn’t come up with anything that was a longing within me. I finally acknowledged that I’m in a new place without friends and I’m still absorbed by the move so lets just keep it simple and us.
When the day came, I found myself very touched by the phone calls, emails, and texts. Even a card and a present survived the postal disruption to arrive at my home and somehow fresh flowers arrived too which may not seem like much to you city dwellers, but here in the country where delivery people laugh when i tell them where I live…..was a treat. I’m not a Facebook person, but those notes too popped into my inbox. I felt surrounded by people, known and appreciated. I wasn’t alone. Yes, I’m in a new place. I have no ‘friends’ here, but I’m still within a circle of people I care about and who care for me.
During the week, as I prepared the Village meditation group (did I tell you I’m hosting an introductory one in the Village for November?), I found Desmond Tutu and the Dali Lama’s book that I really enjoyed last year. They wrote it to celebrate their 80th birthdays, ‘The Book of Joy’. I think it’s a treasure. They describe how each day is our birth-day. Each day we get to celebrate and begin anew. Ahh… each day is a day we bring new life into the world. Each day we can set our intention to be light, to express kindness, to extend compassion. Each day is our birth-day. Hmm… I think that means too that each day we get to laugh a lot, play a game or too and eat Smurf cake!
How do you celebrate birthdays? How might that be part of your everyday-birthday?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
Love and prayers
Mystic in Motion
Contemplative Fire Community Leader, Canada