In this ‘Land of I-Don’t-Know’ that I named last week, some of the stepping stones that steady me were a sense of God’s reality, having family and friends within reach and knowing the inherent stability of my life.
After writing last week about those wonderful solid stepping stones, I found myself taking steps onto slippery stones this week. Sometimes in the middle of the night, sometimes in the middle of the afternoon I’d encounter anxiety, worry and fear. The whispers….’What have you done?!’ ‘You know the market is soft right now. Too bad you didn’t sell last year or wait till it rises again.’ And then….’Why did you buy that small, odd house? Surely if God were in this EVERYTHING would be smooth and effortless. The seller wouldn’t be difficult. The price would be cheap. The decisions on letting go of our belongings would be simple…..’.
Oh, those slippery stones of anxiety, worry and fear, those whispers!
Last week two other people didn’t whisper but spoke clearly into my life. One told me about trains and the other about rocks.
If I board a train hoping to go to Vancouver and discover it is going to Halifax, I’ll get off! When a ‘train of thought’ goes through my mind, I have a choice whether to stay on that train or get off it. One of the fruits of a meditation practice is a growing awareness of the train of thoughts that flow through my mind, and the flow of emotions that steam through me. I don’t have to stay on a particular train. I KNOW my destination. I can get off a train. There is no seat belt forcing me to stay.
Another person shared one of their favourite Bible verses, Ps 61.2 ‘Lord lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.’. When the waters get rough, when the rocks get slippery, Loving God lead me to The Higher Rock, the rock of You, of your truth, your presence within me and within the world. There IS a Higher Rock. It isn’t slippery. It is solid.
There are slippery rocks in ‘The Land of I-Don’t-Know’. Each day, each moment I need to consider where my feet are. Sometimes it’s difficult. Sometimes I slip. Sometimes I’m all wet. Lord, Help me. I want off this train. Lead me to The Higher Rock.
Back to Henri’s prayer:
I do not know where you are leading me.
I do not even know what my next day,
my next week or my next year will look like.
As I try to keep my hands open,
I trust that you will put your hand in mine
and bring me home.
Thank you God for your love.
There is a Higher Rock, a Higher Ground.
What are your slippery stones?
If this is interesting to you, please show support by sharing it with a friend. Let’s broaden the contemplative pathway.
Love and prayers
Mystic in Motion
Contemplative Fire, Community Leader Canada
3 thoughts on “The Higher Rock”
Dear Anne, I cannot begin to tell you how much your Mystic in Motions are helping me and speaking directly to me. The journey we are both on is very similar and I identify with your struggles, as they are my struggles too. It is a journey filled with plenty of anxious times, worry and fear and wondering where God is in all of this. But I believe it’s the journey He wants us on so I have to trust Him. It’s a time of taking me on a journey of depth that I haven’t been on before with such intensity, a time of deepening my relationship with Him on a new level. I’ve heard it referred to as “ The Mystery of His Absence” and “ Dark Night of the Soul” and I have to remember that He is still leading. Questions begin to arise as to why He’s allowing this and have I missed something along the way. But I have to dismiss these thoughts of course. We arrive in Toronto on 20th. April until the 7th May and I would love to get together with you sometime. I’ll call you once we’re settled and we can arrange something. Looking forward to chatting to you, Anne.
Love, Barbara Sent from my iPhone
My train of thought on Slippery stones ….
I took a course in mountain biking at Hardwood Hills. The instructor said, ‘Stones are your friends. Don’t fight them.’
there’s a wise teacher! acceptance rather than resistance.