God, I’m not trying to rule the roost, I don’t want to be king of the mountain. I haven’t meddled where I have no business or fantasized grandiose plans.

Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me. Ps 131

For years I have enjoyed this Psalm. I delighted in the affirmation of the quest of stillness and quietness. Throughout human history there are those of us who have sought that stillness. And it can be found. I felt at home with this concept and the writer.

Usually when I meditated on it, I hurried (!) past the first verse to get to the second, but this summer I stopped on the first verse and realized how important it is to the second. My soul was quieted this summer. As I took my month break I enjoyed the rest and could feel myself settle down during the time. When I read Ps 131.1 I realized that my quietness was disturbed when I became engaged in things that weren’t mine to tend to.

I believe we all have a significant place in this world. Each one of us has something of value to bring. My temperament is such that I see big pictures and want to bring change. I am a visionary and an agent of change. Give Anne something and she’ll tidy it up, re-arrange it and set it going again with purpose and vision. It’s simply who I am and what I do.

The challenge I’ve come to realize is in whether I allow my well-trained and well-developed ego to use those gifts or whether I offer them to God’s Spirit via my soul. When it is a Spirit/soul venture, my soul remains calm and quiet as I do my work. When my Ego (intentional capital letter) gets hold of those gifts I usually experience push often leading to some level of exhaustion. I’m learning to let a lot of things go by me and only tend what I truly need to. I’ve encountered my Ego that enjoys and is capable of ruling the roost but doesn’t need to. My Ego is learning to heed the loving voice of my Soul and take the rest that is offered. I don’t need to bother myself with a great many things. Like a contented and maturing child, I can be at rest with my mother, my God and say thank you.

One step on the journey to sustainable ministry life; Sustainability is fed by discerning wisdom.

Life is good – All the time.

Anne

Community Leader Contemplative Fire Canada

“Ego – acronym for Edge God Out” – Wayne Dyer, The Shift